E after midnight
One of my favorite things
Monday, February 27, 2012
really??
Sometimes I get mad at Jesus Calling...there, I said it. I feel better now. I actually love reading from this devotional every day, but lately I have found myself saying things like "really God?!" and "you aren't giving us more than we can handle, really?!" So here is where you find out I struggle with sarcasm. Tonight, as Eliana was in a full blown rage (which equals ripping my hair, biting, scratching, etc...), a TICK walked across my shirt. "Really God?!" I let out the loudest laugh (not a happy laugh) when Chris retrieved the tick. I am trying my darnedest to be praying over E, remaining calm when I'm really sick of getting hurt, and a tick (basically my greatest fear) walks across me. I am not...repeat...not feeling good. I'm in crazy pain and I'm sad beyond measure watching E struggle. I know she needs therapy...heck, we all need therapy. But, it's all so expensive and we work for a non-profit. And then, just when I can't take anymore, I read this verse in Jesus Calling (side note: she's upstairs raging and my amazing husband is loving her through it to give me a break). "Yet I am ALWAYS with you; you hold me by my right hand." (Psalm 73:23) I need you Jesus...thanks for reminding me tonight that You will never leave me.
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3 comments:
Lindsey--I don't know if this would help you or E and I hate to even mention it for fear of you thinking that I think this is what you need to do because I don't know what to do or if this would even help. My family runs a Hyperbaric Oxygen center in OH and if you and E ever want to hop in the chamber together to see if it helps with your physical pain and E's emotional struggles, I will get you in there free of charge. You can stay with my mom for the course of the treatment. Praying for you....
I've been following along, and find myself up during the night sometimes, and wonder if your precious girl is letting you sleep. I heard this song tonight and thought of you.
http://youtu.be/eOOFAaUGfRE
my darling now sister - this is a phrase i have used far too often.."really God" "I thought you would never give me more than I can handle" and the fear, anger and frustration kicked in - these days i am praying for peace, grace and strength
our days and nights are long and often dark, filled with hurt for our babies and ourselves.
i am adding you to my prayers and to my family ;)
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