Monday, September 24, 2012

my home away from home

This is the view from my room at the detox center.  Let's just say that I'm very grateful for a window. I spend hours staring out of it.  Two weeks ago, I spent 22 hours in one week looking out of this little window.  If you were wondering, that's a lot of hours.  My week consisted of desperately trying to be a patient, fun, "normal" momma to Eliana.  I would pry my eyes open and force myself out of the bed and ignore the intense fatigue as best I could.  Then, for the next 3 hours, we would play, or I would watch her scooter outside.  I would get her ready for her afternoon pre-K and get her to school.  Then, I would race to detox and begin my treatments.  I got injections/iv's, swallowed a lot of supplements, spent hours in hand/foot baths, and many other treatments that I had never heard of until Lyme disease changed my life.  Then, I would get home...have family time (which most of the time included sweet girl having some sort of panic attack at night) and try to fall asleep (my symptoms are worse at night) and wake up and do it all over again.  I'm tired.  The last 2 days my body has been in a lot of pain.  It's hard to explain it...usually, it is migrating pain.  The last 2 days it's been an all-over kind of pain.  Last night my skin was absolutely crawling and almost felt like it was burning.  It is near impossible to fall asleep with this craziness going on in my body, thus I am writing this post.  I asked for people to pray boldly that I would be healed and I'm will keep asking for it. Also, we need continued help for me to be able to go to my treatments.  It's not easy to ask for, but we need help.  God continues to surprise us with gifts from out of nowhere...and we are asking for Him to continue.  The next few weeks are going to be a little insane with Chris traveling with The Red Bus project (I love everything about his job) please pray for energy and strength for me as I face days without him.  I know God is working and that He has me exactly where He wants me. It's not where I thought I would be at age 33...but His ways are higher than mine.  They really are.  Lots of love.


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