Wednesday, January 18, 2012

what does madrugada mean?

Maybe it's because I love Spanish or maybe it's because I have a Guatemalan daughter that does not sleep...but madrugada had a nice ring to it. It means wee hours or the period of time between midnight and before the sun rise. For those of you that know our story, you know that Chris and I have spent many hours awake from midnight until the early morning. Our sweet girl has struggled with sleep since we brought her home from Guatemala at 16 months old (but I'm pretty sure she's always struggled). I remember her jumping up and down in bed before she could really even walk. We called her the party baby. That sweet party baby has transitioned into a new season of extreme fear and anxiety. The older she gets, the more we have come to realize how sick her little brain is (more on that later). For about 3 years, Chris and I have tried every single thing possible to get her to sleep. We have taken turns doing the night time rituals. We have literally spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on gas trying to drive her to sleep. We have rocked her, sung songs to her, turned the lights on, turned the lights off, read books, let her watch movies (don't judge), slathered her with lavendar oil, given her "calming" oils in her bath, taken her for sleep studies, tried melatonin, tried ambien and other big drugs, taken her to neuro-training, and are having her neurotransmitters tested. And the results are still the same, she is AWAKE past midnight most every single night.

After 3 years of consistently not getting enough sleep, I have decided it's time to use these hours for good and not evil (evil=my bitterness at not being able to have "me" time). So, I want to pray. Not just a nightly prayer...but a crying out for others that are hurting kind of prayer. It is so easy to get focused on me and my problems when God has it. He knows why Eliana isn't going to sleep. He knows when we will get to have good sleep again. But, in the meantime, I don't want to grumble and wish for something when I could be loving others. I can't wait to see God work.


Kristen Borland said...

So beautiful to find purpose in all of this. I had no idea this was still a struggle for you guys. I'm so, so sorry that all of you are going through this. Poor little Eliana. I will pray for you (but probably during the day :) ).

for chanel sake said...

Wow! What a selfless act to pray for others during such a challenging time in your own life. This is so inspiring. God bless

Eden said...

i'm so excited to see you writing again! i stalk alot of blogs that adopt (how i found you years ago), and one recently wrote how he heard making the child do a 'tumble/somersault' flipped their internal clock and let them sleep. i know this is crazy, but as long as it isn't a time or money consuming trick it could be worth a try. i'm praying for you and your family! God bless, Eden

M_in_NYC said...

Please please please read dr. John sarno's book the mind body prescription. What you have is real, is physical but there is something you can do about it. I lost a decade of my life until I found. It has helped so many people with some many ailments. Read the reviews. There's a part in the book about Lyme disease. You have nothing to lose. Please give it a shot. I NEVER thought it would help me, help was for other people I thought but it was helped me. All the best to you.

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