Monday, April 22, 2013

fifth time's a charm

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Psalm 103:1-5

I've heard of third time's a charm but not sure if I've ever heard of fifth time's a charm.  But, here goes!!  I haven't told a lot of people this yet, but I am headed to a doctor in Atlanta tomorrow for my ongoing battle with Chronic Lyme Disease.  I've been a little on edge...begging God for peace and strength for this next step.  The detox clinic I went to for months last year is a great, Godly clinic...but we could not continue because of the cost.  We were sinking more and more in debt and I was feeling guilty for putting us in a hole while still feeling almost exactly the same as when I began.  Lyme is a crazy disease.  It's not a one-size-fits all cure.  Something may work for one person and then make someone else deathly sick.  I have studied, read, cried, prayed and re-read over Lyme protocol after Lyme protocol on how to try and kick this disease into remission.  The part that gets to be pretty lonely is that unless you have it, it makes no sense.  Each day I experience new symptoms.  If I was to tell you how I'm feeling each day, I would sound like a crazy person.  So, most of the time, I just smile and press forward.  We spent a lot of the last three months eating ourselves healthy.  We (I mean Chris) has juiced and spent hours in Whole Foods.  He has made smoothies with ingredients we had never heard of.  And, guess what happened??  The insane inflammation in my body started to decrease.  The pain I felt every single day began to ease up a little.  We were given an incredible gift of a free week at the beach last week...and it was beautiful.  The beach has always been my favorite place on earth.  It is so healing to put my feet in the sand and just stare at the ocean.  We ate what we wanted during the beach and guess what??  I feel absolutely AWFUL.  The pain has increased to a level I haven't felt in a long time.  So, we are back on the healthy bandwagon again.

I took three months off of my Lyme treatments to see how my body responded to a change in diet (and to not spend money).  Although, we will continue the "clean" eating still didn't kill all of the spirochetes and co-infections.  A lot of the migrating pain in my body has lessened, but the pain in my head has been gradually getting worse.  For about the last 2 months, I have been experiencing (sometimes unbearable) pain in my head mostly at night.  It will come on quick and strong.  It's not a headache and I'm not sure it's even a migraine.  It's a jolt of pain over and over that makes you feel like you are getting hit over and over with a bat (hope that makes sense).  Then, after the pain disappears, the area will be so tender and painful if anything even barely touches the area.  Sweet Chris will come into the bedroom and wrap 3 different ice packs around my in the front, one in the back and usually one on my neck.  I just lay there until it's over...and then thank God that it's over.  All of this was happening in conjunction with eating healthy.  Plus, the insomnia, night terrors (horrible, vivid dreams) and night sweats have returned with a vengeance.  And this is an entirely different post, but dealing with Eliana's anxiety and rage during these episodes feels like death.  All of this to say, I knew I needed help.  A few people have gone to this doctor and responded really well to the treatments.  So, I am praying for healing...believing that God is going to use this doctor to bring more hope and life into my body.  

I would love your prayers Wednesday morning at 8:00 a.m...that is when my appointment begins and it will last a lot of the day.  Pray for me as I drive to Atlanta by myself.  I haven't driven by myself long distance in a very long time.  Pray for me to be alert (because of my intense fatigue) and that I won't have a headache issue while I'm driving.  Pray for wisdom for this doctor...and for the treatment plan to be doable.  Please pray for Eliana to be at peace while I'm gone for a day and a half.  She is not very good at transitions...and for REMISSION and HEALING!!  And lastly, pray for continued provision for my appointments and treatments.  Thank you so much friends.  I just keep reading and re-reading Psalm 103.  My God is bigger than this stupid disease and He knows what I need.  

Love you all,

P.S.  We went to see our friend Annie Downs last night and her small group of girls prayed over me!  It was such a sweet moment.  Thankful Chris took a picture without me knowing. :)

Also, a new Give Forward page has been opened, if you want to give towards my medical expenses, click the link below:
                                       GIVE FOWARD: Lindsey Fights Lyme


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