Friday, May 11, 2012

curve ball

So, I thought I was tired last week when I posted.  Ha!  We have been thrown a few curve balls in the last week.  My appointment for my Lyme disease was tough and good all at the same time.  I cried to the nurse...I cried to the doctor.  I basically didn't stop crying the entire time.  I think that's called an emotional breakdown.  My wise, caring doctor looked at me and said, "Lindsey, we are going to see you heal.  Don't forget that it is baby steps."  He then prayed for me and gave me a huge hug.  I sobbed.  They started me on some new supplements to help with the severe fatigue.  I walked out of the office and felt relief.  He got it.  He got that I am not just dealing with Lyme disease...I am also dealing with a precious little Guatemalan who requires a lot of attention.  And, I realized I need to give myself a break...I have been feeling like such a failure.  He reassured me that I am not a failure, I am sick.  Thank you Jesus for that sweet reminder.

Fast foward about one day...and pain and fatigue doesn't even cut it.  I felt like absolute death.  I didn't get out of bed.  I didn't want to move.  I could barely raise my arms.  I walked outside one day for a few minutes to get some fresh air, and my neighbors all said I looked so pale and sick.  Treating Chronic Lyme is tricky...and when you are actually healing, you feel SO MUCH worse.  It's called a herx.  And boy did I have a herx.  In the moment, you feel like you will never get out of it.  Thankfully, I was able to move again on Wednesday.

Now comes the part that we add Eliana into the equation...since her last ER visit, she has been complaining about her head hurting.  Normally, that would not be a big deal...but my child has the highest pain tolerance of any child I've ever met.  All day Wednesday, she would tell me her head hurts.  I knew something was wrong.  This will make you gasp (at least it did me)...we were all outside with the neighbors and she asked to go to bed at 7:45 p.m.  She has never asked to go to bed in the history of her life and especially not when the sun was still outside.  She fell asleep saying her head hurt.  Then, the seizures started again.  She also threw up a few times too.  Ever since Wednesday, her fatigue has been intense (this is a child that always has energy).  She has had fevers on and off...complains of head pain...and sleeps.  She didn't get off of the couch all day Thursday and until 3 today.  That is not our sweet girl.

Chris and I took her to her neurology appointment today fully ready to unload all of the things that are going wrong and things that have really been concerning us.  She could not even hold her head up during the doctor's visit.  She fell asleep in my arms and was burning up.  The neurologist looked at us and said that he thinks the "breakthrough" seizures of the last 2 weeks are probably from her dealing with a virus.  The headaches did not seem to concern him.  THEY REALLY CONCERNED ME!  After watching her for a little bit, he told us to take her down to the ER and get her looked at to make sure it is not the flu or something else.  (It was at this point that Chris and I made the decision we are going to have an ER kit/bag that we keep in our cars because this place is becoming our second home).

So, when the second doctor of the night came in...we told Eliana's history all over again.  We told about her hospital stay 2 months ago...and the events of the last 2 weeks.  She looked at me and said, "Has she had any tick bites?"  I think I let out a little scream...and then I wanted to hug her for even admitting ticks cause problems.  And yes, Eliana has been bitten by ticks in the last month.  I hate ticks...despise them in fact.  I took another one off of her this morning.  She then says, her symptoms of the last 2 weeks sound a lot like Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.  I think I'm still in shock when I say it.  They think she has been the point that they started her on Doxycycline (what I first took when the doctors finally figured out I had Lyme).  We will have definitive results in 3 days.  I immediately started reading about this tick disease.  Fevers, chills, loss of appetite, headaches, vomiting...etc.  Yep, she's had all of that.  Poor sweet baby.  I am so thankful for an ER doctor that was proactive and didn't just say she has a virus and send us away.  She actually listened to me when I said the head pain is so unusual for her...and that throwing up is not a normal thing after she complains about her head.  It seems so unreal that we would both have diseases from ticks.  I hate them.  So, our trip to the neurologist ended up being 8 hours in the ER with an ending that I would have NEVER guessed.  I am begging God to protect her little body and heal our family.  Thanks for praying for us...for caring.  God is in this...I know He is.  It's just hard to see right now.

Love y'all,


RachB said...

Oh Lindsey. Covering you guys with prayer tonight. Unreal! You're a great mom--the best mom... Youre attitude inspires me.

Anonymous said...

You absolutely need to give yourself a break girl! When you are sick like you are, getting better is the top priority. Glad you were able to ditch some of that mother guilt. So glad you found a doctor that gets you!! Continually sending prayers your way!! Love you guys.

Reba said...

On, Lindsey. I am so thankful that ER doctor really listened. I hope you continue to find answers and even more...healing!

Bekah said...

What in the world?! I just sat here and stared at the screen. I hate ticks for you. May Jesus give your family rest and healing.

Lainie said...

I'm speechless. Still praying for real answers. Love you three.

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