same old same old

So, I have had a rough few days (so has E for that matter)...maybe it's the crazy weather.  But, my fatigue is intense right now and my joints are in a lot of pain.  I went back to my Project Lymeaid blog and thought I would re-post my first blog to explain a little bit of what I am going through on a daily basis.  Now that E is more stable, I have really been trying to take care of myself.  I am eating healthy and exercising.  And, basically, I'm sad that I still feel so terrible.  Yesterday I just kept begging God for healing.  In the meantime, thank you for praying!

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September 19, 2010

My life and lyme....

I'm not sure where to even begin. It has been a crazy journey over the last 3 or 4 years (really 6 but who's counting)! My family went through an incredible amount of stress and pain about 6 years ago....and from that time until today, my body seemed to lose energy by the day. I remember telling my husband Chris that something was just NOT RIGHT. I had mono about 9 years ago....and this definitely felt like what I had experienced. I went to different doctors and was told that I was depressed and had anxiety. So, for six years I have tried every anti-depressant on the market....some made me feel a thousand times worse and then the one I have been on for 3 years has not made me feel any better or worse, so I have stuck with it. My body continued to gain weight....and a lot of it. For about 2 years, I have dealt with rapid heart flutters (which concerned me)....but had EKG's and nothing showed up. I was told it was just probably anxiety. Then, over the last half of a year my body began to ache. My joints would hurt in crazy places....my hands and arms would go to sleep and I began experiencing a ton of pain. I remember telling me mom about all of these latest symptoms and her telling me that I really needed another opinion.

I think I just got to a point where I had decided that I was dying. I know that sounds drastic. But, I kept telling people that I really didn't feel depressed. I just felt every single day like I had pulled an all-nighter in college and NO AMOUNT of sleep would make me feel rested. Doctors would do blood tests and everything would be normal. I was told "You're a new mom of a 3 year old....this is just how it is." I can't tell you how many times I walked out of the doctor's office feeling overwhelmed, defeated, and hopeless. I begged God for answers. So, in early June, I went to a different doctor and told her all of my symptoms. I just burst out crying and said, "Something is so wrong with me.....I feel like I'm dying." She listened....and started writing. She looked at me and said, "It sounds like you have Lyme disease....have you been bitten by a tick." WHAT?!!!!

Fast forward, the test was POSITIVE!! I have had it for years....the last time I remember being bit by a tick was at Kanakuk Kamps in 2001. I didn't know anything about this disease. The more I have read and researched....the more my heart is broken for the thousands of people suffering. It is a very misunderstood and controversial disease. For most people, if you take anti-biotics right after the tick bites you, you will be totally fine and okay. But, there is a percentage of us that have had it for a long time and it could take YEARS of treatment to "cure" the disease. Without going into a lot of detail, treatment is very costly and most insurance companies don't want to pay for chronic lyme disease. So, my prayer is simple....healing! And, I want others to understand the disease and spread awareness.